Travelling yagh

I've done some bits and bobs of travelling over the years, and the majority of people I meet and befriend are lovely and so interesting. I'm often in awe of people I meet who come from all over, fascinating jobs, backgrounds, intelligent and/or just hilarious. There are others who fall into some stereotype traveller categories which I'm going to go over in this blog so not my usual diary entry style. I'll call it a feature blog! You may have come across a combination of a few if you're really lucky...

The one upper

We all know this type of person in life. No matter what you've done this person can top you. You may have conquered Everest but this person has also done it blindfolded with the flu in half the time. 

The Christopher Columbus

Apparently this person has discovered something off the beaten track that NOONE else has done and won't stop banging on about it. 

 "Oh yeah the Inca trail crap is crap compared to this blah trail where we wandered for days alone to this [insert cool sounding place], and saw this rare species and slept outside under the stars" 

You're pretty sure you heard about this trail in the Lonely Planet and they've probably done an expensive tour but you let them have their moment. Which nicely leads me to...

The moment killer 

When you've done or seen something really cool and are feeling pretty chuffed and some divvy pisses on your parade. 

You, "Ah isn't this view incredible" 

Them, "Yeah but you obviously haven't been to [insert place that isn't on your itinerary or anywhere near], that's sooooo much better than here." Ooft. Cheers for that. 

The plastics

These are the Mean Girls of the travelling world. They exist in various guises but their key characteristic is they travel and stick in packs and make zero effort with you, unless of course you happen to be male. They often wear teeny impractical clothes regardless of the weather and then complain when they get blisters/wet/cold. 

Male readers you will have no clue who is in this category is as you'll be too busy thinking how cool they are or checking out their boobs/legs/bum. I once saw a lass in the hostel wear a net top and her bikini underneath was so small her nipple had fallen out. I was going to tell her but wasn't actually sure if that was the look she was going for as her mates said nothing. 

The clone  

This person has done exactly the same thing as you and you tell them that but they proceed to describe to you a detailed account of their activity. And not in a way that they want your opinion or recognise that you were also there. This can even be at the same event, "at one point they did this dance/scored a goal and it was sooo awesome"  And you're sat there thinking, umm yeah I was there. Does this person think I shut my eyes and ears? 

The hippy

The classic traveller. Rags on their head, maybe some tattoos, an unusual hairstyle of some sort; dreads on white people, maybe a rat's tail or the most recent trendy style the top knot. Lots of beads, bracelets and general crap that's probably made in China. If you go into you hostel dorm room and see bongos or a didgeridoo you've hit the jackpot of the classic hippy. You know they come from a middle class family and are probably rebelling. These people are usually harmless (unless play said random instrument in your room) and keep the local tye-dye shop in business so all good. 

The interviewee

We're may be guilty of this from time to time but this is the extreme form. This is the person who you'll ask a few questions and they'll give you their life story but ask you sweet f a about what you've been up to or where you're from or well anything, so you feel like you're just interviewing them. They also crop up at work, those people who you ask about their weekend and they give you an hour by hour account including their washing and ironing and don't ask how yours was and in your head you're thinking of saying, "Mine was good too, thanks for asking!!" But in reality you smile and say something really polite. And bitch about them later obviously. 

The party starters

No matter where they are in the world these people will find a party or just start their own. Bigger numbers of them mean mob mentality and they party even harder. They live in a different time zone and sleep in the day. They often see nothing of where they are for days until they feel a sense of guilt that they should do something touristy. I found many of these people in hostels in Oz (mainly Brits and Irish) but they exist everywhere from every country. When you want a bloody good night they're your best mate. When you want a night in you need to avoid them or be prepared to be persuaded to get on it and pay the price the next day.

The dementor 

They refuse to go in a dorm room, they won't eat the local food, won't get on a local bus and just generally whinge constantly. We all have our bad days but when it's relentless they are like the dementors out of Harry Potter and suck the energy and soul out of other people. 

The wannabe nomad

These travellers think they know it all and go on about how they've been travelling for ages but it's about 3 months. Yeah that's cool, but it's not that long. These guys try far too hard to enjoy their experience and tell you how spiritual and ethical they are (and blatantly work for Coca-Cola back home). I met a guy who told me he'd been travelling for 17 weeks. WEEKS. The only people who should talk in weeks if it's over 8 weeks, are pregnant women. Even then it's a struggle working out how preggo they are. He said "It's just easier than doing the math than 4 and 2 7ths of a month"... Yeah dude, rad. Orrr you can just say about 4 months as no one actually cares to the nth degree how long you've been travelling for apart from your mum. 

The nomad

This person has rarely held down a job for more than 6 months in their life and seems to have spent a decent chunk of their life travelling. Ba*****s. If you're unlucky they'll lord it over and be really annoying. Usually though these people are enthusiastic gems and will give you loads of advice and tips from how and where you can save money, avoid trouble and go somewhere brilliant. Most people travelling have a set time and a budget and can't possibly see everything. These people can be hugely helpful in helping you decide where to skip and what not to miss without breaking the bank. 

The eternal optimist

I'll happily admit I'm a realist like many Brits and will admit if I'm underwhelmed or just disappointed by something. So these people both can piss me off and can be uplifting depending on my mood. For example I thought Bogotá was a dump and felt unsafe there, the optimist will tell you it's edgy! When you've had enough of crap busses and cold showers the optimist will tell you it's an adventure!! Whilst these people drive me mad they're also bloody brilliant at lifting you up and reminding you to see the good in things. You didn't work your arse off and save money to sit around moaning so enjoy the sights, adventures and have a laugh at the crap times, besides it makes for a good story and blog material ;-)