Adios Argentina

Day 19- Martes
I survive another 20hour bus journey from Buenos Aires and arrive in the afti at Puerto Igauzu, northern Argentina. I step off the bus and the 35degree heat hits me. YES!!! FINALLY a chance of a tan. Our hostel is a bit out of town but it has a POOL. Muchos gracias! I waste zero time in getting in my bikini. Just my luck the sun goes in. Agggghhhhhhhhhh. I am doomed forever in this white as frigging milk British body. It's still dead hot so laze about in the pool and meet a few people. I spy some Brazilian girls and am baffled at the mystery that is a thong bikini... 1. I don't see the problem in having a white bum and 2. these girls do not have the arse for it. At this point I am thanking our mam for being petite and the no cellulite gene and think I am truly blessed. You still wouldn't catch me in a thong bikini.

Day 20- Miércoles
There was a thunderstorm last night and it's meant to rain today. I'm cursed!! I'm mega excited as I'm going to see Igauzu falls which are enormous waterfalls recently classed as one of the seven wonders of the natural world. As the border runs along the river you can see them from both Brazil and Argentina so I'm doing a cheeky day stopover to Brazil! I go with a danish guy Mikkel and a German woman Vanessa. The hostel is pretty big but met a few people which is always good. We cross the border and they stamp me out of Argentina but I don't get a Brazilian stamp! Great so I'm just a nomad. The weather isn't as bad as was forecast and I love the falls. They say Brazil has the view but Argentina has the falls. True as you get a wide panoramic view from Brazil but I'm still in awe of how big and loud they are and we get to go across a walkway and get drenched and I get to wear my cag in a bag!!! I've had to explain to a lot of people what a cagoule is, which is a thin waterproof for any non brits, but mine is in a bag but really its a pocket as it magically turns into a cagoule!! I feel like a kid watching Peppa pig going "again!" as I can't wait to visit the falls tomorrow.
Later I go for a run but stupidly leave it when it's dark and raining so I have to run along the grass verge of the highway. Nothing like a few trucks and buses going at 70mph alongside you to give you a cheeky adrenaline rush.
Just hang out in the hostel in the evening and chat to this kiwi guy Robbie who is into hunting, like actual deer and stuff, and this Aussie girl Rachel pipes up she's hunted before too?! Ah great so they can actually be in the Hunger Games. Plaiting my hair to yearn to be Katniss from Hunger Games seems pretty lame now. But I think owning a gun in Brixton might get me into trouble.

Day 21- Jueves
Off to the falls again from the Argentinean side whoop! I go with Mikkel and Robbie early doors. We head straight to the Devils throat a point where the falls converge. Its so misty with the pressure of the waterfalls and with the added touches of birds and butterflies everywhere it looks incredible. My camera has ran out of battery, I forgot to bring my charger with me, I'm daft I know, but chuffed it's lasted this long and I have my iPhone. Robbie tries to set up his mug-me-now camera on a tripod on some rocks and a security guard gets SO angry it would be funny but he storms off muttering gringo on his phone and we wonder if he's bringing in an army of tanks.
I love this side of the falls but its crazy busy. There are tons of tour groups which is bizarre as its self explanatory. There are so many fences and walkways its not like you can wander off, spesh with Sergeant don't-step-over-the-fence-or-I-shoot-you. Its like having a guide round Disneyland.
In the evening me, this Canadian guy Casey and an Aussie guy Tyler and go out for tea and for the third night in a row I have, you guessed it, steak! I tell Casey he looks like someone in Twilight, he's a teacher and says his students say he looks like Emmett (a vampire in the film) spot on! I am so wise!... and have the mind of a 15year old. The restaurant we go to has a band outside and all these Argentineans are all over it dancing and singing it's brill. Ace day, and I realise a total sausage fest of one too.

Day 22 Viernes
My bus is early evening to BA but any plans to do touristy crap have been sidelined as the sun comes out so it's bikini time! Bit miffed there are no lads to perve on round the pool but it means I actually read my book and swim some laps so burnt off probs 1% of the steak and chips from last night.
A mate from Oz, Daniel, I used to work with at the council is in south America too, and is flying from BA the same day as me and is also coming to Igauzu. A bit of confusion as he arrives at the hostel a few hours before I have to leave for my bus but we manage to catch up as its been a few years and are going to be in the same hostel in BA tomorrow night. And so later I get on my last long bus journey hurrah!!

Day 23- Sabado
The only thing less fun than a 19 hour bus journey is a bus journey that turns out to be 23 hours long, has no bingo and all the films are dubbed in Spanish. I am ready to gnaw my own arm off with hunger by the time I reach Buenos Aires. I have a random burnt patch on my back that resembles Antarctica and screams "I am alone and attempted to put sun cream on myself". Makes carrying my backpack extra fun.
Daniel arrives at the hostel after flying (jammy git) and we go out for my 4th steak this week. We go Argentinean style late and don't leave the restaurant until 1.30am. We went to a bar after which is pretty cool, no tourists too. I get chatted up by some Colombian guys I think are trying to speak English but they're so drunk and I'm pretty merry I can't decipher anything. I find Daniel and some Peruvian girl is chatting to him and he is insisting on telling her she looks like a pirate and not a gypsy. Good chat.

Day 24- Domingo
We got in 5am ish so I'm feeling pretty ropey today. We're wander the enormous market in San Telmo that is just as full of crap as last time I went. But we come across a huge Italian market, well we couldn't miss it from the singing and smell of pasta and pizza, thats more like it.
I was recommended to do a street art tour in Buenos Aires (graffitimundo.com) and since my first few days here I spent ages trying to find a Che Guevara mural (which I never found) I am keen and drag Daniel along. Its a bike tour with seven others. I had noticed lots of graffiti here but not just tags (which I hate) but actual murals and art. Turns out the reason for this is due to the economic crisis in 1999-2002. I'm no economist but basically a number of factors contributed to the huge devaluation of the Argentine peso crippling people of all their money. As you can imagine it became a pretty dark time and place for people and riots kicked off in Buenos Aires. From this street artists began to focus on colourful cheerful art rather than anything political. In the 90s they were doing it at night, as in most other cities, except they realised noone seems to care so they paint in the day. Usually with permission too as people like it or want to cover up tags. I won't bore you with anymore but I took enough photos which I think say enough. We also got to go to a studio of some of the artists, I felt quite intrusive doing this so didn't take photos inside. Great moment when the woman told us one of the artists had made wooden bikes. Daniel goes over to a bike goes close up and starts tapping the (quite clearly metal frame) and listens to it... Me "what the hell are you doing?" and gesture to the bike behind it which is planks of wood with wheels attached and obviously is the wooden bike. I laughed a lot.
After we go out with my friend Amandine and her boyfriend Mike for drinks and a eat a greasy Mexican. The cuisine that is, I didn't eat a Mexican bloke.

Day 25- Lunes
So in three and a half weeks I've covered 4700miles (7580km), spent
120 hours and £500 on busses round Argentina. And tonight I have to leave... can you hear me sobbing as I type this, my spiritual journey is over!! Ok well my long holiday is and I'm gutted, I don't want to give up my backpack just yet. Though I am looking forward to not fearing I might fall out of the top bunk, not eating hostel diet (aka eating as much cereal and bread at brekkie as humanly possible to make the most of free food), not feel like I'm starring in Lady and the tramp surrounded by stray dogs. And, get this, I haven't been mugged!!!!! Self five!! I didn't dare say this until now in case of jinxing it but I've met so many people who have had their bags nicked. At the same time, I've hardly got anything of value with me unless they are interested in primark and big W clothes.
Anyway all in all I've had a cracking trip, Argentina is a beautiful (although expensive) country and the people (minus the corrupt thieving ones) are lovely. Hopefully I'll come back one day knowing more Spanish as asking "¿Hablas ingles?" feels like I'm admitting I have an STD. Very embarrassing.

Muchos gracias
On that lovely ending I just wanted to say thank you to everyone for reading! Appreciated all your comments.
Adios amigos! Xxx

Pingüinos y ballenas

Day 15
I arrive at Puerto Madryn at 7am after my 20+ hour bus trip. On a map of Argentina on the east coast there's a peninsula that looks like a penguin shape and there's lots of wildlife around here. I don't hang about and drop my stuff off in the hostel room and get yet another bus as there's only one a day to Puerto Pyramides where you can go whale watching. It's 370pesos which is about 50quid so if I don't see some blubber I'm kicking off. I soon realise I didn't choose my outfit well as I've got orange in my top, orange zip up and coral shoes... So by the time they give me my orange life jacket I look like a giant carrot in a school play. Serves me right for getting dressed in the dark. Fashion fail. Anyway so I'm on a dinghy boat, I don't understand much of the tour guide but bothered because we only get about 400m off shore and I see an ACTUAL whale. Oh yes. This is like Free Willy!!!! Except these whales are no way as pretty. But they're huge. And up so close to the point I'm pretty bloody scared! It was class. Non stop whale fest. It finished and I had three hours to kill as there's only one bus back a day. I ask a tour guide what I can do and she tells me I can do a walk to a sea lion colony but it's 5km there. 5K pah!! I almost ask her to feel my calves then realise that would be inappropriate and say that's fine and get going. It starts off a path then it's a road and very sandy so it feels desert like. Right at the end I wander off amongst bush and rock get a bit lost. I can't find the road anywhere. I see a car! Hurrah, I can work out where the road is. It's a police car and a policeman gets out and walks towards me, he's not a happy bunny. Turns out you're not meant to wander off the road. I am a REBEL. AS IF he can tame my wild ways?!? Turns out he can and I turn very British and apologetic and walk back. I realise he had a fair point as if I'd fallen seagulls could've feasted on me for days before anyone would've found me.

Day 16- Sabado
Early start again, I'm off on a day tour to Punto Tumbo, a penguin colony! Now then, I did enjoy the penguins, there's around half a million there in October. That said, I feel bad saying this, but as my stepdad once said when my brother and I insisted on going to Monkey World years ago, "You've seen one monkey you've seen em all." I'm afraid that's how I felt about the penguins. Bear in mind I saw whales yesterday? Penguins, meh. I did it the wrong way round. I also couldn't relax all day as the tour was meant to finish at 5pm but thanks to bad organisation and a stop off to Guima, a welsh village, catching my 7pm 100quid bus to Buenos Aires was going to be tight. Given I live in pretty close vicinity to Wales funny enough I couldn't give a flying monkeys about visiting this place for tea and cakes. Despite me telling the tour guide ALL day I couldn't miss it he tells me at 5pm I probably won't make it?!? Luckily another tour bus is going back to Puerto Madryn, they let me jump in and I make my bus to BA in time! This came with a big cost though. Not money wise I just had to spend an hour and a half listening to a couple of 20year old American girls talk about their "spiritual journey". Oh Pleaaase give me strength. And a bucket.

Day 17 - Domingo
21 hours later and I'm back in Buenos Aires. And this time I have a friend! Whoop. Amandine, French girl I met last week, new BFF, lives in Buenos Aires in a nice area called Palermo. We meet up the afti and wander the shops and markets around Palermo. Its so nice and reminds me of Belsize park.. dulwich.. Marylebone high street in London with quirky posh shops with pretty but totally pointless things in that us girls love. We go to a lovely cafe too. No Greggs round here. In the evening we had drinks and food with her boyf and his mates. Fun night, I miss pubs already though, no other place do pubs like the UK and Ireland. I stay in an Eco hostel, supposedly sustainable, and notice absolutely jack all eco-friendly about it. There is a guy in my room who looks about 70 which is plain weird and I decide not to fall for any Eco marketing rubbish again.

Day 18 -Lunes
I've landed on my feet as its a public holiday so Amandine is off work so I have a friend to play with again! We went to the gym! Hell yes, I was in my element. Weird to see myself in a full length mirror. We went to the cinema after to see Ted and the audience got the jokes before me as they were reading the subtitles which was odd. Ashamed I had a total non tourist day but it was ace. But back to this travelling malarkey again, on another bus tonight, 21 hours north to Puerto Igauzu. Bring on the waterfalls and some sun!

La Montaña y chocolat

Day 11-Lunes
So my bus set off 9.30pm last night and I arrive 6pm today... The views are pretty good on the bus and quids in as they put one film on that isn't dubbed in Spanish! Lincoln lawyer, I've seen it before where Matthew McConaughay isn't purple and the sound wasn't so tinny that it sounds like I smashed up my kitchen but I enjoy it still. Then it's Bingo in the afternoon! This is where the magic happens. I can't keep up but it passes the time a bit.
I arrive in Bariloche which is according to google maps only meant to take 14 hours not 21 so who knows how my bus took an extra 7 given we only had ONE loo stop. You wouldn't want a dodgy empanada then go on one a these journeys! It's 760miles (1220km) south of Mendoza in Argentina's lake district which is absolutely beautiful but it's chilly.
Whilst I'm having my tea I get chatting to a guy who speaks English! He's American so I approach with caution but he doesn't whoop and holler at me! I am joking of course. He probably saves that for Jerry Springer. He's from Chicago, cool guy, but he's leaving in the morning to Chile which is a shame.
I've paid a bit extra so I can get a female dorm here so I can rock about in my underwear. Whoop.

Day 12- Martes
Its 8 degrees and so windy so I go overboard and put so many layers on that by the time I've put on my baby pink ski jacket I look far from ski chic and more a giant marshmallow. I wander the town which has lots of outdoor shops, tourist shops selling things made of wood including lots of knives(?!) and numerous chocolate shops to the point where the streets smell like Cadbury land. There is some knitting attached to trees and phone boxes too, my gran would be proud.
This town is a ski season in winter and someone told me they ski'd here at the weekend!!!! I get very excited about this then find out it shut TWO days ago. Agghh Bummer! This is where that planning thing comes in handy.
So I go for a hike up to Cerro Campanario. I get a local bus there and see there is a cable car to get up. Obviously I'm having none of this, I think I'm Lara Croft by now. So I bound up it, it's pretty steep and I see some tourists stopping for a rest. Amateurs. I carry on realising my extensive layers including leggings under my jeans was a tad overzealous as I'm sweating like a fat kid in Maccy D's. Right at the end I clamber up steep sharp rocks and I feel like an absolute hero and wonder how others can do that. Then I realise at the top I went the wrong way and there was a much safer and easier path and now I feel like a absolute idiot. At the top it's incredibly windy and freezing and I throw all my layers back on. The view is stunning you can see for miles the islands and snow topped mountains. My photos don't do it justice. Trying to get a photo of myself was a mish as my now afro hair is in my face with the wind.
Back at the hostel I hate it. It's so big and it's overran with a huge group of cliche American students that are really cliquey and come out with things like " Yo, Brad! Duuuude!" God help me. I eat my tea alone and feel like I'm in one of those American films in the geek crowd except no fellow geeks join me and nooone dances and sings on tables like in the films. High school musical and Glee has a lot to answer for.

Day 13- Miércoles
I was supposed to be going kayaking today and some of the American students are booked on too so I figure might give me some excellent blog material. But it's cancelled as the wind is so bad. It's midday so missed a few things so I get a local bus to the harbour and go on a boat ride.
Now I was imagining a serene peaceful boat ride taking in the picturesque setting. I was not imagining hoards of Argentineans, the majority of which are old age pensioners and lots of couples with screaming children. Its utter carnage. The last thing I remember as unexpectedly painful as this was when I had a bikini wax in Vietnam. Luckily the scenery makes up for it. Everyone is pointing at the sky and has their cameras out and I go and have a nosy. I wonder if it's an condor which is this huge bird found in western south America that has a 3m wingspan. I was lucky and saw some on my hike in Cordoba. But no! It's.... Wait for it... seagulls. That's right your average seagulls. They're going absolutely mad for them and feed them crackers?!?! Anyone knows seagulls are greedy buggers and a whiff of a sarnie and they've whipped it out of your hand, I'm baffled. I go to the front of the boat where it is very windy but quiet hurrah! I hold myself back from doing the Titanic thing.
We stop at two islands with national parks on and I ask a tour guide, Sebastian, if he speaks English and would mind explaining a bit about the trees (the geographer geek comes out now and then) and he is happy to show me and an Aussie retired couple round. I won't bore you with the deets but to sum up they planted Californian pines a while back which have grown far quicker and faster than their native trees so essentially screwed up the ecosystem so they're chopping some down. Us pesky humans hey.
Minus the boat journey and the wind it's a beautiful day and the islands are interesting. He tells us noone inhabits them now except power rangers... As I'm about to launch into Tyrannosaurus! Pterodactyl! Sabre toothed tiger! etc I realise in his accent he said park rangers. Ah ok, far less interesting.
Back on the boat Sebastian comes and sits next to me and get this- asks me out for dinner?!? I'm not interested but he seems like a nice guy and I'm flattered, still got it looking like a marshmallow!! I have plans (check me) to meet Rob and Helena (couple I met last week) so I don't have to make something up thank god.
Later I go out for tea with Rob and Helena, we go at 8pm which is when it opened and soon got busy with old bids for the early bird special as they eat late here. We have a great night and I eat wayyy too much. I get steak but annoyingly it's not that nice as its too well done not medium rare, lost in translation. Along with other stuff I eat it all even though it's the size of my head.

Day 14 - Jueves
I woke up last night convinced there was rats crawling around. Then I realised I wasn't in London and on the 4th floor and the roof was getting battered with the wind. There was a thunderstorm not too long after. To say the weather today is hideous is an understatement, I'm really gutted as it means I can't go kayaking and I leave at 6pm and I spend the day dossing about town and the hostel. Bariloche is beautiful but I am off on yet another bus journey, 13 hours, to Puerto Madryn on the east coast. I'm pretty sure the bus company can pimp out their busses to have sub woofers, chrome rims and spray paint them all gold with the amount I've put into buying bus tickets.

Vino, vino, vino y el filete.

Day 7- Jueves

So I survived the 11 hour overnight bus to Mendoza. My friend Kate recommended Hostel Lao there. I loved Laos the country so I am already a fan just on the name. The hostel has a real homely feel about it. The brekkie is amazing and involves organic homemade jam?! I'm sold.

This afternoon I mosey through Mendoza then hit the park. Judging from the map (no geography quips here please) the park looks the same size as the city. It has these huge golden gates and I feel like a princess entering a castle. The park is bloody massive but its ruined by loads of roads running through it. It feels like Centre Parcs but the cars don't have a 10mph speed limit so I can't find anywhere to sit that doesn't feel like I've perched on the grass verge of the M25. I managed eventually and collapse in a heap and sleep, very productive.
Back at Hostel Lao I actually meet people. That's right plural, people!!!! Everyone is really friendly and speaks English. I meet this Dutch guy Pieter and half an hour later I offer to cook tea for him and feel right at home - sorry to my flatmate Tony if you're reading this surrounded by take away boxes.
The hostel has free red wine, yes you read that right FREE WINE, so I have my first taste of wine in a while. People are playing drinking games and an Irish guy, Rowan, is smashed and he spills red wine all over my nice new Billabong hoodie. Aghhh. Not a big deal but I only have two jumpers so I can't afford to ruin them as I'm heading south so it's only getting colder. His girlfriend Krista is dead nice and helps me clean it. I go to bed though as I'm in a rubbish mood now.

Day 8- Viernes
I had an awful night sleep thanks to a Chilean guy snoring ALL night. Now we've all heard people snore, its pretty irritating. But this wasn't your average snorer. It was what I can only describe as a dinosaur giving birth. The only time he stopped was to fart. I remembered I had ear plugs I'd nicked from when I visited the recycling factory (my job is class I know) so I manage to get a few hours kip and others in my room put their iPods on. I chat to Mike, the owner, who was on night shift, he thought someone was ill and was ready to call an ambulance, I wish he bloody had.

Last night I heard a couple Rob and Helena are going wine tasting so I ask if I can tag along. We get a bus out of town and hire bikes to visit the wineries. The first one we end up having lunch first, delish and very wise. This guy Pol shows us round the winery and we try a LOT of wine and he talks a LOT. He's a nice guy and wearing a very bobbly jumper and wellies, he's pretty fit too but he takes wine so seriously I fear if I tell him last night I drank wine out of a mug and Rowan out of a bowl he may cry. We are in a cellar for what feels like an eternity and Rob and Helena get into this deep conversation about wine and consumerism. Its really interesting but I don't contribute much as I'm so merry and I'm more worried clutching onto my big wine glass so long my hand has turned into a claw.
By the time we leave it's 5pm so me and my claw and Rob and Helena skip the next winery and cycle to this little shop where we try lots of savoury dips with bread then homemade jams which soak up the wine a bit. We try a few shots that are quite sickly and topped off with a sip of absinthe I'm thinking the bus trip back will be interesting. It's fine though and all in all a cracking day. Helena and I swap blog links and now I've read theirs I'm embarrassed as its a lot more informative so I apologise if anyone was expecting Bill Bryson and got Karl Pilkington whoops!

Back at the hostel I sober up as I can't handle my drink and a few of us are hitting the toon!! We leave at midnight and it's just me, Pieter, Rowan and Krista. I've barely taken a breath and Rowan is ordering "Quatro tequilas!" I can see this is going to be messy. We end up hitting a club that makes Infernos look classy. The lads leave before Krista and I and (she will hate me for this but none of you know her so I hope she won't kill me!) at the point where she takes her top off and dancing in her bra I think it's best we leave. We've had a good night but I hate the people in the club and even on my way out this guy tried to grab me and kiss me, I shove him off but I feel totally violated and am seconds away from going ninja style Soph on him. Most Argentineans I've met are dead nice so I think we've just hit a bad club. We get in at 6am and I feel like a total rebel, don't think I've stayed out this late since 2008. The dinosaur snorer is going to have a tough job waking me now.

Day 9- Sàbado
As you may expect I didn't do a whole lot today. It was about 26 degrees so I just chill outside and read for most of the day as my head felt like someone was smashing a pan against it. I tried to work out where I can go in Argentina as this country is too big and I don't have the time or money to do it all, internal flights are £300+ so it means busses which also aren't cheap (£60-£120) and take forever. I'm gutted I don't have time or dollar to do Patagonia properly so I'll just have to come back!
An Argentinean guy does an asado (barbie) in the evening. I haven't actually had any steak in Argentina yet which I know is like going to the UK and not seeing rain. We all sit on a big table outside, the asado is absolutely incredible. I have so much fun, there are no pretentious travellers (we all know the sort of divs I'm talking about) and we chat about all sorts from religion to 50 shades of Grey.
I eat so much I'm so full and break into a meat sweat.

Day 10- Domingo
I am heading south to Bariloche tonight so it's my last day in Mendoza. I went for a run this morning before I checked out and I died doing 20 press ups I feel so out of shape already. I want to explore the park more and climb up this hill to Cero de la Gloria (some big monument). I ask a German guy Michael and Pieter if they're game so we go to explore. We walk for ages in the park and the hill takes about half an hour to walk up. I'm grateful of some exercise especially as as I've eaten so much bread and pasta on this trip anyone would think I was fattening up to hibernate for winter. The views on the way up are better than we expect, and on the other side of Mendoza you can see snow topped mountains. When we finally reach the top we're surrounded by trees so you can't see anything which is disappointing but we have ice lollies which make up for it. Its windy (hace viento!- check my spanish out) and a cotton skirt probs wasn't wise as I'm close to flashing someone. My hair is so long and big it has taken on a life of its own and I look like a white Diana Ross tribute act. After, we walk to the lake and collapse on a bench. Then we go eat some very late lunch I have a salad to curb me getting scurvy. Ace day. I should maybe apologise on behalf of anyone British though as they think all British people are blunt instead of just me. I tell them about these mini action men I saw at the hostel, they think I'm hilarious then we get back and they know exactly who I'm speaking about. These two lads who are tanned, quite small but have some serious jaws and muscles going on. They're Swiss, Mathias and Lucas, I donate them my orange juice and Michael an onion and a tomato as I'm leaving soon, who says I'm not generous?!
I'm off tonight on a 21 hour bus journey south. I'm sad to go as I've loved this hostel but excited to go to Bariloche.
And the bus journey... I get a cheeky little tray of bread, bread, bread, more bread... And cake. If I get back to London and someone offers me their seat on the tube I wouldn't be surprised.

Ps I have NO idea how these posts are getting so long. Blame the long bus journeys.